20 things i learned in 2020

1. you never know what tomorrow will bring.

2. live in gratitude and you will see all of the areas in which you are blessed -- be grateful.

3. within every perceived “disaster” there comes an awakening - learn to pivot.

4. don't make it about you. in the vast ocean that is one human's life, the likelihood that you are the direct cause of something is marginal.

5. a dog can be your best friend.

6. there is a reason and a season for all.

7. hard work will pay off, it's the law of the universe. you will reap what you sow.

8. there is no such thing as lack within any of us, this is yet another socially constructed phenomenon.

9. keep the focus on you, what you nurture will blossom.

10. when you receive a dissertation of a text message testing you, do not respond through text. pick up the phone and call.

11. make a plan for your life and practice and rehearse. you will grow into who you are one day at a time.

12. travel is one of the best medicines, don't take it for granted.

13. let peace be your umpire. make every decision by checking in whether you are at peace inside yourself first. it will not lead you astray.

14. respect your conscience like you respect your boss, your friendships, etc. do not override your inner wisdom.

15. love is an action. don’t just tell — SHOW.

16. strengthen the relationships that strengthen you and that nourish you. friends are one of god’s best gifts.

17. if it is not productive or profitable LET IT GO. sever the ties. close the door.

18. your mental health is priority number one. everything else can take a ticket and stand in line.

19. do not speak against yourself. be your own best friend and fill yourself with optimism, positivity, compassion, and love. you will receive back what you give out.

20. enjoy it. all of it. in all facets. nothing is promised!
     

inner peace

how are you holding? it has been a little while since my last note to you. i needed a bit of recovery time after the way i poured myself in the confrontation of my paternal wound. almost as if my heart needed some solitude to accept and stretch into the new space created from that cleansing. that is what writing has always been for me, a cleansing experience.

i like the feeling of coming clean especially with things that can be too tender to talk about. i used to be ashamed of my pain. i thought it made me weak or damaged somehow. i no longer feel that way. all that i am, all that i have suffered in my life is what makes me who i am. the inner peace that arrives after coming clean is what inspires me to continue to be vulnerable.

i am held and strengthened with every layer that i shed. i find that i am arriving more fully into my life experiences, all the while comforted by the (light)ness of inner peace... in exchange for trusting the universe by letting go.

much of what weighs us down is our shame. and some of what shame is, from my understanding, is feeling as if we are responsible for some of the things that happened to us at the hands of others. i know this is true for me.

i have learned from years of therapy that this is a child's response to a traumatic childhood — a way to find some sense of control in the chaos of a dysfunctional home. this response becomes hard-wired into the adult child and transforms into a default way of responding. default to me means there was no pause to choose a different course. would you remain in "default" if you knew you could choose differently?

what would it mean if you could untangle that ball of shame and leave it? and if you can’t leave it completely yet, what if you only kept what you felt was “yours?” — until the day comes when you are ready to part with that weight, too.

our pain, our shame, can appear as comfort. and sometimes we hang on to it because we do not know what it will be like on the other side.

we know what it’s like to live with pain, we don’t yet know the experience of being free of the pain. we get lost in the with-out. trust enough to know the other side, the peace that arrives after the processing, and the questioning, is a type of liberation i wish for you.

one of my favorite quotes of all time comes from a book called what happy people know -- “life is love: bittersweet, vulnerable, ever-changing, imperfect---and eternally worthy of unbounded appreciation.”

this time of chaos, of uncertainty, of illness and death, of the unearthing of the ugliness of humanity, is fertile ground for an inner journey.

your pleas to the universe do not go unheard. you can trust that.


big love,

Max and Nya.

the paternal wound

a few days ago, i did something that i would have never thought to do in the last decade, i called my father. all this gutting out i have experienced in the last six years has prepared me to face him. the disfunction of our relationship and the anger, hatred, and confusion, that i feel toward him is overwhelming. even as i write, it is a lump in my throat and a stinging in my eyes that compels me to let it all out.


i am aware that the paternal wound has been something i have struggled with for the greater part of my life. people commonly refer to this as “daddy issues.” i detest that reference. i think it cheapens and invalidates the human experience of someone who is trying to make sense of this wound and how to live with it. the pervasive nature of its ability to seep into every relationship alone can be debilitating. i finally feel that i am in a space to begin to face it and make peace with it.


my genetic father is someone i never knew. i have never even so much as seen a photograph of him to compare if we look like one another. i look like my mother a bit, but really i look like no one. there is a pain in that, too. the not knowing of who you actually resemble and how to inhabit your features. when you cannot see yourself in another, it feeds the narrative that maybe in fact you are invisible. it causes me to ask: did i really come from someone?


the man who did raise me, whom i interchangeably refer to as my father/step-father is a person i feared growing up. in some ways, i fear him still. he was militant in the way he ran our household. i think in his mind, our home, his wife, and the children were just another replica of the Sudanese war front. we all walked on eggshells around him, especially me, because i was the eldest. 


although not his through biology, i was the head of six kids and the one who had to make it because i was expected to. i had to set an example. and for a long while, it was instilled in me to accept the failure of my younger brothers and sisters as a fault that belonged to me. i can see clearly now that all my self-sacrificing, challenges with romantic relationships, inability to trust, and knots of guilt i have had to work through come from this paternal wound. how then does such an enormous pain point transform? surely it takes more than a phone call.


he is not the type of man who will sit across the table from me and account for all his wrongdoings against me, African culture doesn’t really breed that, at least not from his generation. even if he were to admit to the enumeration of his offenses, would that satisfy the inner me? would it make him become the father i needed? 


we continue to learn through our evolution as beings of light that our own healing is our responsibility. so lately, my prayer to my guides and teachers is to carve out all that is festering in me, make me hollow, cleanse me deeply, so that all that filters through me is light.


it is me then, who will have to offload this boulder from my heart and be the father i needed. to go layer by layer, until all that remains is a limitless well of compassion and love.


what is that you are growing through? how has Queen Corona shifted the way you see yourself from the inside? i would love to know --- send me a note!


may you be cleansed from the inside, may you become hollow, so that all that filters through you is light.

big love,

Max & Nya.

the great awakening

it has been an intensely heartbreaking few weeks with all the violence against black lives. the grief that these mothers and families have to deal with now and the trauma being activated for all of those who have experienced racism is heavy. it’s beyond words. beyond protests. it's the kind of pain that has the power to awaken hidden layers. 

 after college, i had decided i would stay out of racially charged discussions. i found them exhausting, not to mention deeply disturbing. in recent weeks, i have come to remember why. it had always been that i was in a conversation about race with a white person trying to make myself visible. the racism i experienced when my family moved to maine and when i moved myself to boston is something i packed away under the guise of being from ethiopia and the black american problem not really being my problem, or at least that is what i told myself. i didn't realize how much i had denied my own blackness until i saw the violence over and over again and witnessed my visceral responses. the reason i stayed out of the discussions involving race was because of the fear of what it would activate in me. 

 all of these years i thought i could “pass” and so didn’t need to put a microscope on my blackness. somehow i thought maybe i could transcend race. i now realize that my denial was a shield protecting me from having to face the heavy weight of what the world feels i am worth, or at least those in america. i guess that is part of the oppression too, right, self-denial?

 all that has gone on has triggered the festering wound of inadequacy from within me. all of the times i was made to feel small, like i did not belong, like the issues i faced in my interracial relationships were not valid, like i had to prove my worth just because of the color of my skin have risen to the surface. the great awakening of it all makes me deeply sad not only for my heart but the many who are feeling this same way right now.

 my right to life should be respected just as everyone else. being black doesn’t mean i am bad or that i am worthless just as some white people believe and go to great lengths to make black people feel this about themselves. there even is a whole group of people who refer to themselves as “academic racists,” did you know that? sickening.

 anti-racism is a social responsibility not unlike emotional responsibility, fiscal responsibility, mental responsibility. we are supposed to, as human beings, collectively contribute to our healing and the healing of others not traumatize one another. when will we learn?

 i was not sure how to respond to racism as a seven-year-old, and now in my thirties, i am responding with mostly rage. i am in disbelief that “black lives matter” is even a conversation topic. is the value of my right to live really less than that of my white counterparts? it seems so ridiculous and yet so pervasive.

 in recent days, i have felt a refilling of hope as i drove by streets with many white people holding “no peace, no justice” signs. finally. racism is no longer the black person's dialogue, it is time white people started to have these conversations amongst themselves and a new level of accountability to be brought to the light. we’ve fought our fight, our systems need rest now. 

 my practice is to rise above my pain and the collective pain of those who belong to my race group. to remember that here on earth my skin color may matter and have a factor in how i am viewed,  but as a spiritual being, i am colorless. my hope is that this time continues to serve as a great awakening for us all.

 due to the pandemic on both a global and spiritual level, i am postponing the retreat to ethiopia for october 2021, perhaps then the skies will give us permission to be with them again. in the meantime, i am plotting a safe, local, retreat experience. i will keep you posted!

 as the days turn into weeks, and new normal sets in, i leave you with this: healing happens by feeling.

big love,

Max & Nya.

homecoming

i have been getting lost in language lately. it's as if words grasp me, braid me up in their ropes and then leave me to understand what it all means. not being a native english speaker is not very helpful during this experience. while i have spoken english for at least two decades, the words trip me up still. i find myself looking into the dictionary for an exact definition and then write the opposite down so i can understand how to emotionally respond to the word. maybe you can relate?

 it has now been eight weeks since we have been ordered to shelter in place. in the 25 years i have lived in america, i have never experienced anything like this. i feel as if we are all being wedged into a corner of self-regulation. regulate who you see. how much you give. what you do. continually assess what actually matters.

 during this global experience, there are many who have lost their jobs, who have transitioned out of this life. many who have given birth, who are expecting a child. who are plagued with the question of what is next. and many who are unsurprisingly leaning into what remains unresolved in their hearts. for all of us, this is a sort of homecoming.

 i have had wonderful conversations with friends who have finally gotten to the root of their nagging pain body as a result of this time. the wide-open road to sink their teeth into the very marrow of their bones. i am overjoyed for their homecoming. i wish the same for all of us. i don't think there is anything quite as warming as the feeling of peace within your own heart. sitting with the stuff through this process of metamorphosis is the hardest part.

 i, too, have been using this time to “lean in” to what is deeply buried. the “work” has led me to a well of compassion for myself unlike anything i have experienced. it seems possible then to cultivate a space where i can have respect and reverence for my own heart, as i ask others to do the same.

 no matter what the new normal becomes, please know i am always here rooting for the best outcome for what you are growing through. wishing you healthy, enriching, and fulfilling (self)love wherever you are.

to the truth; to the light. 

big love,

Max & Nya.

reset

the quote that comes to me during this time of universal pause is by pablo neruda. it reads, “someday, somewhere, anywhere, unfailingly, you’ll find yourself. and that, and only that can be the happiest or bitterest hour of your life.”
for well over 3 weeks, i have been wondering what to write to you. the world has turned upside down for all of us delivering us into a state of collective grief. the enormity of our losses is so powerful that even if we did not want to get caught up in the wave of the collective panic attack, we still feel the ripple effect. for some, spending time indoors alone or working from home isn’t uncommon. for those of us who thrive on the social energy of others, this is a difficult time. how we find ourselves right now with all this silence can be the happiest or bitterest hour.

when the corona virus outbreak started whispering in the US and talks of businesses shutting down arrived at my doorstep, i was fairly in denial that this would happen. it was not until the day after i taught my last workshop on march 15, that i tuned into the ripple effect this collective panic attack was causing on the world, and even closer, in my community. 
 it had arrived in my yoga teaching, it had arrived in my real estate office, and now to the cafes, retail establishments, and restaurants that make up the city i love to live in. when the church closed, i knew this was serious. it's as if someone came into the room and pressed pause for everyone at the same time!

 i feel as though we are all being asked: what are the bones of your life? what really matters? if the world as you knew it suddenly changed tracks, how would you respond?

 for me, this time has been deeply reflective. questions such as, what do i notice about the pulse of my life now? how do i want to fill my days while this goes on? which parts of my experience do i re-introduce when this is over? where do i want to be when this is through running its course? are rummaging through the various spaces in my brain day in and day out. 

 while my mind tries to acclimate and adjust, these are the tasks i have given myself.  if any of these speak to you, please feel free to use them and add on!…

• go through paperwork and shred what is not needed

• complete a project that has been on the to-do list (organize home office, spring clean by rotating closets, go through the linen closet)

• call a friend and have a long face-time/phone conversation catching up

• read a book 

• wonder about the possibilities of your life, what would you like it to look like? be descriptive (what time do you wake up, how many hours do you sleep)?

• make a list of all the places you would like to travel

• get back to cooking again!

wherever you are on this journey of accepting what the world and your life have become, i am here for you sending encouragement and love. i am with you in solidarity and here to take a phone call, face time, or even a virtual yoga class.

big love,

Max & Nya

ON RETREAT

ethiopia awaits you in the fall from october 25 to november 3rd. get excited because i have just confirmed our stay at this new resort in gonder! send me a note to make your $500 deposit to reserve your spot. i also feel this is something that one should share with a best friend, daughter, sister, mother… it really is that life-changing.

all in stride

i write this blog in part because i love to write but really because i love to share. i share because i am acutely aware that we all believe we are alone in whatever it is we are wrestling with in life's playground at any given time. while some might view vulnerability as a weakness or something that feels too raw or unsafe, i find it quite liberating. it was not always this way. i, too, once found vulnerability as an unsafe space, but with continuous psychological and spiritual work, vulnerability to me feels like my answer. life, on the emotional front lines, feels like home. and my hope is that in sharing what i am going through and growing through, it will inspire if not comfort you in wherever you are right now. 

for as long as i can remember, i have wanted to be a mother. my vision was to have human children, and that very well might manifest, but for now, i mother max, my maltese. i just celebrated another tour around the sun. because my desire to become a mother has been rather loud in my head the last few years, i decided to have a series of tests that would tell me essentially how much time i have. my doctor warned me that the tests were really designed for women who were gauging whether they were right for in vitro fertilization treatment, but yes, it more or less could say the state of my ovarian reserves. while the information we receive on a daily basis may not always appear favorable, i find that it is empowering (once we get over the initial emotional response) and can help us make informed decisions about how we would like to experience our life.

i was surprised at my results. according to the tests, my reserves are low for my age. my doctor feels i should think very seriously about freezing my eggs. this was one of those moments in life that are super real, super quick. i left her office feeling like an adult, like i had to really think about my desires critically. i left not necessarily feeling defeated, but not empowered either. i don’t have a name for how i feel, actually. all my brain was thinking was, “content, content, content, --- freeze your eggs.” this, too, has changed how i choose. what i choose.

 i want you to know that no matter what it is you are going through and growing through, you are not alone. there is an entire universe there to support you. and what you choose to create and manifest in your own life is your divine right. not that you needed to hear it from me, but in case you forgot, this is a gentle reminder. i am taking all that comes at me in stride. i am learning to respond rather than react.

maxie and i are great. we are getting on beautifully, learning from each other daily, and loving one another deeply.

i leave you with brene brown … “vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.”

more soon!

big love,

Nya.

UPCOMING WORKSHOP

a friend whom i admire, adore, and respect very much has put together a wellness retreat and workshop for women. she so gracefully curates an experience that will not only inspire, but that will nourish you. i will be guiding a practice as well as a journaling exercise. it is still early on in the year where we each are charting and envisioning our dreams, check it out and join us if you can.

ON RETREAT

ethiopia awaits you in the fall from october 25 to november 3rd. get excited because i have just confirmed our stay at this new resort in gonder! send me a note to make your $500 deposit to reserve your spot. i also feel this is something that one should share with a best friend, daughter, sister, mother… it really is that life-changing.

routine - repetition - reward

there has been a certain lightness to my being lately. i feel as though every passageway within is open. my heart feels unconflicted and whole. my physical vessel feels light and buoyant. and my mind feels not only clear and determined but the strongest it has ever been. i realize, this is the happiest i have been in the whole of my life. i am so grateful.

i love the beginning of a new year. it is the permission, though unnecessary, to begin again. to chart out new dreams and hopes. and to step into a new layer of self after shedding what no longer serves. i am excited for all that i will accomplish this year, what is planned by me, and what will find me in the mystery of what is planned by the universe.

a part of the joy i have been feeling has come in large portion due to my maltese, max. on january 2nd, max arrived from a maltese breeder based in bluefield, virginia. in anticipation of his arrival, i ordered an owner's manual, a playpen, doggy beds, and all the accouterments. what struck me when learning about my new dog-child is the mantra, “routine, repetition, reward.” it got me thinking, i could use this mantra for my life, too. if i commit to something daily (routine), and i stick to it (repetition), i can achieve what i set my mind to (reward).

my life has changed completely. there is not a choice i make about my daily to-do that does not consider max’s well-being. he has not only put my life in perspective but has filled me in ways i never knew pets could. waking up to his excited loving face, coming home on days when he is with the dog walker to his wagging tail, every crevice in my heart has been filled. max brings out the affectionate, joyful, and playful part of me, it’s quite liberating. 

yogawithnya.com has had a refresher allowing you to now book your private yoga and reiki sessions online. also, the women’s yoga retreat to ethiopia version 2.0 is set for october 25-november 3, 2020. i would love to share my ethiopia with you, send me a note to learn more about the itinerary for the trip and make your $500 deposit to reserve your spot.

linda lang and i are devoted to cultivating one teacher per year, we are looking for one student who would like to go through our private yoga alliance approved teacher training program. send me a note to learn more.

i hope 2020 has you also light and buoyant. if i can be of service to you and help guide you to where you want to go, do not hesitate to reach out.

may you also be immersed in something daily, that you love to repeat, and that rewards your efforts!

as jack kerouac said, “be in love with your life, every minute of it.” it is all a gift!


big love,


Nya.

letting go

the last six months of my life have been the most intense for my personal growth. i not only experienced the most severe heart rupturing breakup of my adult life, but i also lost my grandmother, someone whom i was very close with, despite being over 7,000 miles apart. the last time my heart felt so much palpable pain, my brother was sentenced to 40 years in prison in 2016.

i spent this past summer wrestling with so many emotions, experiencing more rage than i have ever known, and shedding tears that felt like they were never going to end. the process deeply exposed me and revealed so much of what i have left to work on, acceptance and self-love being the primary lessons. coming out on the other side of the grief work has been liberating in ways i could not have imagined while going through the storm. it feels as though a boulder has been removed from my heart and now, with all the awareness i have gained, i am letting go. i feel clear, liberated, and at peace.

the root of my work is my desire to fix and save. it is something in me that is deeply programmed i believe since before my birth… perhaps something i carried over from other lifetimes. it is no coincidence that people always arrive with their hearts open to me, with their lot in their hands, asking for my guidance. of course, i feel grateful for this gift, but there are times when i don’t know where their work begins and where my guidance ends.

a lot of my own suffering comes from my inability to watch others in their suffering without feeling the need to sacrifice myself to take away their pain. what i finally understand from this summer is the most loving and compassionate thing i can do is give someone the space to deal with themselves. we are all only responsible for our own life and not everybody in this lifetime is going to be ready to do the work on themselves. 

the biggest illusion we are under the influence of is that there is a magical human out there who will come into our lives and save us from ourselves, who will be what we need. the sooner we snap out of that and realize that only we can save ourselves, the deeper we will be able to breathe and lean into fully who we are. seeing ourselves in our mess, in the soft spots that feel tender, in the parts we do not want others to see, and all the magic we are allows us to see others as they are. when we can fully see, we can let go.

i am closing out the year setting powerful intentions, you can join me for a morning or an afternoon practice in my home studio to cultivate your 2020 vision. sign up here.

come to ethiopia with me next year, it will not only teach you about yourself, it will offer all the wonderful culture present for your spiritual evolution. send me a note to make your $500 deposit, the retreat will take place from october 25-november 3, 2020. 

are you interested in becoming a yoga teacher or deepening your practice through yoga teacher training? linda lang and i are seeking one student for our 2020 yoga alliance approved teacher training program.

my ears and my heart are always here for you. i wish you happy holidays and abundance beyond your wildest dreams in 2020.

may you learn to fully love, forgive, and accept yourself.




big love,


Nya.

on faith

i recall all the anxiety very clearly during the planning process, but even more acutely after i had arrived in ethiopia one week before the group. although the daily schedule, excursions, and experiences had been planned for several months, i was not quite sure that in ethiopia, where chaos is a part of the daily ingredient, things would go as i had planned them. i am amazed, grateful, and humbled that not only did it go as planned, but even the parts that found their way into our experiences also added value.

one year ago, on my second return to ethiopia, i conceived of an idea to lead a women's retreat. it was a time in my life where resorts around the world were soliciting me to lead retreats in their venue. i did not quite know how i would go about leading a retreat to places i had never been, so i began to contemplate ethiopia as an option. i got to plotting as i usually do when things enter my head and just a few days ago, i returned back to washington having successfully executed a plan that took one year to prepare before manifesting. the experience of holding space for others in a country, culture, and language that was foreign to them filled me in ways i never knew possible.

even with fear present during my journey, i woke up daily and held the space that was necessary to demonstrate exactly what i wanted to happen. the experience of inviting a group of women to see my ethiopia and caring for them throughout their stay has taught me a tremendous amount about my faith and my ability to create experiences and watch them come to life. i am so moved that i will hold the retreat again next year, adding and fine-tuning the many parts of ethiopia that there is to see. she is a country filled with color, texture, and pride. the dates for the women's yoga retreat in addis ababa, gonder, and lalibela are set for october 25 - november 3, 2020. send me a note to make your $500* deposit to hold your spot, space is limited.

next month: the New Years Eve intention setting, journaling, and yoga practice is back, twice on december 31, 2019 - 10:30-12:30pm and 3:30-5:30pm - this is a small group practice taking place in my home, reserve your spot here

i wish you an abundant thanksgiving and hope that you can make time to contemplate the depth, level, and sensation of your faith in the order of things. may love surround your heart, your table, and those with whom you will share the day.

what i am learning on my journey is that we have to leave space for faith.

i am very grateful for you and look forward to seeing you soon!

big love,


Nya.

the process

it has been a colorful, rich, and textural summer in ways i could not have predicted. i had one intention for 2019; bloom. as the universe would have it, i have been asked to part ways with any person, place, or thing that inhibits this majestic blooming process. it has been deeply awakening, heart rupturing, and piercingly painful — but nevertheless, i trust this is all for my learning.


a few weeks ago, i lost my grandmother. she was the most joyful, loving, safe, and warm place i have ever known. i had hoped she would hold out until my trip to ethiopia in a couple of months, but as god usually does, there were other plans. since her transition among other losses this summer, i have been catapulted into the wrangling hands of grief. traveling through the five different rooms has opened my awareness to more rage than i have ever known. room 1: anger. 2: bargaining. 3: denial. 4: depression. and finally, the samadhi of states; room 5: acceptance. i’m still rollercoaster-ing, so i think it will be a great while before i get to the big A-cceptance.


my grandmother passing has illuminated my relationship with the concept of “love” — what is it? what does it feel like? does it matter whether it is verbally expressed or is love an action? and what does it mean when the verbal expression and the action are in conflict?


emay or great mother as she was known, wasn’t a woman of many words, she was one of those people who believed love is an action. her love was expressed through coffee ceremonies, expertly crafted gomen, or spinach, and warmth that radiated far beyond the confines of words. if ever she did say, ewedishalew, or i love you, it was because she felt you needed to hear it. i did not grow up in a household that said ‘i love you.’ it wasn’t really the african thing to do. i think i was in college, or being dropped off to college when my mother first said ‘i love you.’ and i imagine she said it because she was leaving her baby girl in a city she knew nothing about, in a dorm room life she had never experienced, more than actually feeling “love.”


the process of discerning between what i saw growing up, what i have learned from my own relationships, and what i hope love feels like has been quite the journey. unlike a patchwork quilt, i’ve spent the last few months piecing together what love means to me. how i choose to express and share my love and the type of familial love i dream of creating. so much food for thought, so much unearthing of what remains unloved.


ethiopia is nearing, i depart on october 28. the women who are taking part in the yoga retreat will arrive on november 3, we will spend 10 days traveling through addis ababa, gonder, and lalibela. the objective is to travel outside of our comfort zones, empower one another, fellowship, and cultivate a wellness routine that will extend far beyond the experience of ethiopia. we still have 2 slots left, if you are up for a last minute adventure. send me a note, i will send you the itinerary!


last year in advance of my trip, i collected clothing for the gelan orphanage. what i learned while i was there is that what they really need are basic necessities such as diapers, wipes, kleenex, soap, and other toiletries that are expensive to buy in the grocery stores. i am collecting donations for these things so that i can purchase them when i am there. these items range in diapers from $22 a pack to formula at $42 a pack. your generosity is greatly appreciated!


you can donate here: paypal.me/yogawithnya


this summer has reminded me that even if it doesn’t feel pretty or taste sweet, i can trust the power of my gut.


what did this summer teach you?


curious to take your yoga journey deeper? linda lang and i are looking for one student to undergo our next yoga teacher training beginning january 2020 --- send me a note, lets talk about your goals!


rooting for you as you do the work and trust the process. remember, what you nurture will blossom!


big love,



Nya.

the middle space

i am in disbelief that it is already july and that my last note to you was back in april. a lot has happened in my world since. i received my final real estate license for the state of Virginia allowing me to practice real estate in DC, MD, and VA, my first Reiki Level 1 attunement, and finally, after years of longing began tennis lessons! we all have the capacity to change the rhythm and content of our lives, but only we can make the choice. it brings me tremendous joy to learn more about who i am through these different mediums.

a resounding theme in my life lately and part of why i have been absent in writing to you has been learning how to occupy the middle space when certainty seems far out of reach. while i am a very open person, i am also one who craves certainty. i recognize gray areas exist, but i would prefer for things to be either black or white. in witnessing the experiences i have had the last few months, i am filled with gratitude and pride that i can hold certainty and uncertainty together allowing them to guide me to my next destination with faith. i am able to both experience and witness, simultaneously, my pain and suffering as well as the pain and suffering of those i love without feeling the need "to do" and instead stand in love and acceptance.

the healing work, the one that is unique to each of us is ours to heal. there is no one that can take away our pain and suffering, and quite frankly, we should not require this of others. additionally, doing the work for others robs them of their souls unique assignment. this is a very difficult lesson to learn, especially for me!

i remember reading jean paul sartre while majoring in existentialism at Simmons. a huge theme for him was “taking a leap of faith…” even back then, i knew this was the way, but as you know, the cloak of fear can appear so much warmer than it actually is. we create our own blockers and sometimes it is helpful to remember that there is freedom in not knowing the answers. 

i miss you all madly. some of you i have been fortunate to see around the city, some for coffee and treats, i hope you are all doing well and enjoying the warmth this city has to offer.

ethiopia is 3 months away! we have 2 slots left and are in the midst of booking our flights! join us, send me a note and let's talk more!

let me know how i can be of service to you on your healing journey, either through reiki, yoga, or a friendly activity through the capital crescent trail, my new favorite!

love & light to you all-ways.

big love,

Nya.

lodestar

lode·star
/ˈlōdˌstär/
noun
noun: lodestar; plural noun: lodestars
{ a person or thing that serves as an inspiration or guide }

one of my daily activities lately has been reflecting on who i am and what my "value add" is to the world. what gives me purpose? what enables me to serve humanity in a way that is fulfilling for me and that is healing for the world? while sharing a coffee with a new friend one day, she wrote in a book that i was buying from her, that i was a "lodestar." i hadn't ever come across the word before, so i quickly typed it into my google search box to find that a lodestar is "one who serves as an inspiration or guide." wow. that is exactly who i am in the lives of others. it warmed my heart to be affirmed by the universe.

i had the great fortune last month of participating in a health & wellness panel organized by my dear friend, monique ross. monique and i met while i was building the yoga program at union market a few years ago, we have been helping each other grow ever since. her vision was to create an afternoon of fellowship for women featuring personal stories shared by kyla thompson, milan jordan, and myself. these stories were about our personal struggles, what its like to build a business, and what our blackness means to us in every day life. it moved me beyond words and showed me how much work we have yet to do in illuminating and embracing the black womans experience in america.

as some of you know, i founded mindful movement yoga school a few years ago. mindful movement is a yoga alliance registered school influencing the next wave of teachers, one trainee at a time. mindful movement was born out of a desire to fill the gaps in teacher trainings offered and also to co-create with the trainee and other faculty how one would like to experience their teaching. it takes at least one year for someone to complete our yoga teacher training, its quite unique and a program that i am very proud to be a part of. i am happy to announce  carol richardson has joined the faculty. carol is a mystic healer and intuitive coach who is on a mission to empowering you to access your own best inner guidance. she adds so much value to the teacher training, i am thrilled to have her! we are now accepting one student for training beginning in the fall, send me a note to learn more!

the fellowship last month has inspired me to start a bi-weekly practice for women in my home studio called #fellowshipflow - this practice will be limited to 10 women, coffee and dialogue to follow. you can sign up for the the may practice here.

we have 2 spots open now for the women's yoga retreat to ethiopia - it is just a mere 6 months away! send me a note, if you would like to read our plans and decide to join us!

i hope you are doing well and that this note finds you in great spirits. the weather is finally warming up, trees blooming, i know you are blooming, too. sending you love and grace in abundance!
 

big love,

 

Nya.

desire or obligation?

photo credit: james jackson

i recently found myself in northern maine, stuck on an icy road, hysterically awaiting the arrival of road-side assistance. i was on my way to a 1:30pm appointment at the maine state prison to visit my younger brother, when upon the instruction of google maps, i wound up on an icy road, unable to get myself out of there. i cannot explain in words alone the state of panic i was in, not because i was stranded for what became 2 hours, but because i knew i would miss the visit with my brother that i had flown 2 hours and driven another hour and half for. in my moment of deep sadness and inconsolable sobbing, it dawned on me that i was not crying for the fact that i was helpless, but because i was more devoted to my brother than to my own safety and well-being.


the light that entered my consciousness while in that moment revealed to me a tremendous level of devotion and love i have for my brother, it was also an opportunity to realize how many times i have put others ahead of my own safety and well-being. it caused me to go down the rabbit hole of questioning when exactly this conditioning began? and of course, where all answers lie are in childhood.

 

{how many times do you operate in your life, in your interpersonal relationships, and in your work, from a place of obligation rather than a place of desire?}

 

i grew up as the eldest of six. my parents worked opposite shifts, my father in the morning and my mother in the evening, effectively rendering me the mother in her absence. i cooked the meals, i helped with the homework, for all intents and purposes, i raised my siblings. this is where my sense of obligation comes from, the continuous messaging i received growing up that i come last. 

 

as i write this, i am grateful for the day i was stuck in the car, helpless, stranded, sobbing … it showed me where a part of me still believes and thinks i rank in the order of importance. the way the universe teaches us where we need to heal and what we need to learn is not always the most graceful. i mean, did i really need to be stuck on an ice road in the woods of maine to see this? 

 

i am committed to using my own healing to help heal others. if it moves you to meet for coffee, to drop me a note, and share some of what you struggle with and what you are learning, please know it is my honor to hold space for you. it is important you know that you are not alone.

 

we have 2 slots left for the women’s yoga retreat to ethiopia. i am happy to send you our itinerary so that you may decide if you would like to join us. there are 10 fantastic women coming, i am so looking forward to all of you meeting one another!

 

may all burdens you carry that are not yours be removed from you and returned to the rightful owners already healed.

 

big love,

 

Nya.

bloom

photo credit: james jackson

happy new year!

i hope that the last 16 days of 2019 have been insightful for you! this year is going to be different, i can feel it in my bones! it is going to be the year we experience life in a softer way. in a way we did not in 2018, and in a way we can yield to what the year asks of us without fear or shame.

2018 was BIG for me! i saw and served in ways i did not realize i was capable. i took major risks and i pushed hard toward what i believed in. this year, i have but one intention; BLOOM. if my actions, deeds, and words, do not feed my intention, i will not pour any energy into them.

in 2018, i learned the true value of each of my relationships, as well as my role in them. and perhaps most important, i learned that on the other side of fear is grace.

 

amidst a new calendar year, an opportunity to start over, i invite you to set just one intention.

 

here is to your becoming, to your blooming wherever you are planted, to your trajectory, with abundance on your side, and to a new year filled with endless possibilities! 

 

as you sit and reflect on 2018, ask yourself, was it a year of questions or answers? also, ask what 2019 wants for you? part of my blooming this year is undertaking an advanced yoga teacher training at bethel farm -- i am so ready to learn how better to serve through my teaching. i have been following bethel farm for years, and delighted to grow through their training.

 

PS: the women’s yoga retreat to Ethiopia has only 4 slots left! curious what the plan is? send me a note to make your $500 deposit and i will send you our plans in print! 

 

i want to support you where you need it the most!

 

big love,

Nya.

take flight

photo credit: james jackson

it has been a bit of a whirlwind this month as i have been on more planes in the last 30 days than any other time this year. it has been the month of spending nights in hotel beds, taking multiple planes around ethiopia, traveling to places unknown, and discovering the adaptability and resilience of my ancestors within my own soul. 

 

i spent the first 2 weeks of november traveling between addis ababa, bahir dar, and gonder, utterly amazed at the ethiopian people and their history. for the first time, i understood instantly where my pride comes from. four days after my return from ethiopia, still in the grips of jet-lag, i was on another plane to celebrate the life of my partner’s grandfather who transitioned after 110 years on earth. i know the popular saying is, “life is short…” it certainly was not for grandpa francis. he led a joyful, adventurous, and long life. may we all be just as fortunate.

 

inspired by my practice, my passion for travel, and for the magical place that is ethiopia, i am thrilled to announce that next fall, november 3-13, 2019, i will be leading an all women yoga retreat to visit addis ababa, lalibela, and gonder. each day will begin with journaling + meditation, an organic breakfast, followed by curated daily experiences of ethiopia's historical sites and deep culture. i am so excited for what will be an amazing journey. the cost of the retreat is $3,450 for single occupancy, and $3,200 for double occupancy. the retreat price includes airport pickup/drop-off, all meals, all excursions, and private transportation. there are only 12 slots available! send me a note to make your $500 deposit, more details of the trip to come!

as we approach the last month in 2018, i hope you make time to sit and reflect on all this year has taught you about your unique presence in this world and your capacity to be more.


 

_________a note from my vision board:___________

 

do not simply travel the world

see it for all its dazzling colors

taste its exotic flavors

and listen to its peculiar and beautiful stories 

________________________________________

 

 

wishing you exactly what you want in life,

 

 

big love,

Nya.

soft spaces

when i began teaching yoga 6 years ago, i had not anticipated how much it would change my life, how much the practice would help me guide others to enhance their life, and really serve as my lighthouse. recently, i have found myself either with my students, or with friends, in a deep space of gratitude for this practice. i am beginning to notice in others, soft spaces, where the person is aware and present with their lot in life in a very compassionate and open way. allowing ourselves the space to be soft and vulnerable is what this whole life is about, the more we allow ourselves, the more we will allow others.

last weekend, i graduated my first student from the mindful movement school of yoga private teacher training program. i founded mindful movement last year in an effort to create a structure that influences and supports the next wave of teachers, one teacher at a time. it took us one year, and at least 200 hours to arrive at the end of our journey, but we did it! when we can take something that has deeply impacted our life for the better and offer it to others, we are consciously creating a vibration that heals all those with whom we come into contact. 

in a few weeks, i am headed back to ethiopia for my annual visit. to give back through the practice, myself, core72, and wydler brothers real estate are putting together 4 free yoga classes to benefit orphanages in ethiopia on october 21 and october 28, 2018. we are requesting donations in the form of children’s clothing that can be worn year round that are gently used or new. you can sign up here for classes at cathedral commons and here for classes in chevy chase. space for yoga is very, very, limited.

making your unique impact on the world doesn’t have to be a daunting task, it can be something small that you do each day. your good deed will then inspire the person whom you’ve just touched to pay it forward, thereby creating a ripple effect of goodness in our world. 

my life has been touched by each of you, let’s keep spreading the light!

 big love,

 Nya.

fall + give

is it really september already? i don’t know about you, but once it hits labor day, i start planning out 2019! my summer was full and rewarding with travel in and out of the country and lots of lazy days sunbathing. while i am in disbelief that summer is over, i am overjoyed for fall, it is my favorite season!

keep a pulse on my notes the next few months for some awesome yoga collaborations in the city. fall is a great time to fall-back-in-love with your yoga. i want to hear all about your summer, drop me a note, and lets grab something warm to drink and go for a long walk.

while your kids are going back to school, and your friends are trying to schedule you for coffee, lunch, or dinner. while the whole of washington seems like its getting ready to come back in full swing, contemplate on what you can give to those you encounter without draining your own supply of energy.

here is a suggestion of 10 things you can give this fall…start with yourself, then your partner, your children, friends, and the rest of the world.
 

1. attention

2. benefit of the doubt

3. compliment

4. effort — go the extra mile!

5. energy

6. patience

7. respect

8. smile

9. time

10. understanding

i am here to support you in your practice and anything you need. my instruction is transmitted one-one-one to maximize your energy, goals, and most importantly, your time. i am wishing you a beautiful september day filled with endless possibilities.

 

big love,

Nya.

 

the language of love

after years of therapy, i have come to learn and realize that the language of love is composed of a four part harmony. the acronym for this harmony is RSHV — respected, seen, heard, and valued. every relationship is contingent upon the synchronization of this harmony. when a note falls, it isn’t without compromising at least one persons needs in the process, leading to conflict and distress. however, when all persons in a given relationship experience an exchange of all four harmonies, the result is love in its highest vibration. an affirmation that we are respected, we are seen, we are heard, and we are valued.

it is for us as individuals to decide what a healthy, loving, and supportive relationship looks like. what we need to feel respected, seen, heard, valued and how we can consciously choose to engage in relationships that aim to strike this four part harmony. next time you are in disagreement with someone, ask yourself if one of these four notes is missing and you will get to the root of the conflict much sooner.

as i learn what my needs are and how best to articulate them, it has become increasingly important to observe how i show up in my relationships. what messages i am transmitting by my actions, words, or lack thereof. it is a long time habit of mine to over give largely due to the fact that i never learned moderation when it comes to love. i have always been an all or nothing person because a lot of my primary experiences gave me just those two options. my brain is conditioned to believe in zero percent or one hundred percent and so my heart learned to give in the same manner. i am still learning how to move the lever in values other than all or nothing.

i don’t anticipate that we will all wake up tomorrow and become people who have conscious relationships built on RSHV, i do however anticipate that we will wake up and try. and the next day, try again. every day, patiently working toward being the best version of who we know we can be and what we know this world can become with our contribution to doing the work.

my yoga practice has returned to the space where it began, at home. my teaching has followed suit, leading classes solely through private instruction. my schedule for fall has a few slots open, send me a note to discuss your needs and how this practice can serve you.

i am so proud of you for doing the work. and know, at the moment that you read this, i respect you, i see you, i hear you, and i value you.

big love,

Nya.

mind the light

photo credit: james jackson

earlier this month, i accompanied my partner to his 25th high school reunion. beyond telling me where he had gone to school, he never at any point in time described the setting. similarly, i had not looked up the school on my own. when i arrived, i found that not only was he educated in a natural setting with lots of greenery, but also in an environment that believed that there is the light of God in us all. it occurred to me in that moment that this man that i have so deeply fallen in love with has been cultivating and nurturing his inner light since before i became aware of my own. and while i was busy competing for the head cheerleader position at portland high school, he was  learning how to “mind the light.”

 

i am fascinated by how much our environment particularly as young people shapes who we become in our adult lives. when i look back at high school, i cannot recall being concerned with much beyond my grades and sports. high school was not what i would consider “enriching” and while we contemplated a bit, it certainly was not about seeing the light in everyone or shining the light for others to see themselves and the world more clearly. it has taken years of individual work to understand that there is light in us all, it has always been there, and always will guide our way. 

 

what if we taught our children from birth to see their light and to recognize that light in others? what if we held the light for each other when we had trouble seeing? what if we entered every relationship with the intention to mind the light? my heart is overfilled with hope just contemplating such a world.

 

the fundamental purpose of a yoga practice is to create clarity, calm, balance, alertness, and ease. and in my experience, it has been a practice of seeing the light in myself and in others. the following quote from yogi bhajan says it beautifully …

 

you are a lighthouse,

so no one can wreck near you.

that is the one thing in life you have to do.

spread the light. be the lighthouse.

so every journey, every destiny,

every distance will be safe. 

 

i challenge you today to be the lighthouse.

 

big love,

 

Nya.