all in stride

i write this blog in part because i love to write but really because i love to share. i share because i am acutely aware that we all believe we are alone in whatever it is we are wrestling with in life's playground at any given time. while some might view vulnerability as a weakness or something that feels too raw or unsafe, i find it quite liberating. it was not always this way. i, too, once found vulnerability as an unsafe space, but with continuous psychological and spiritual work, vulnerability to me feels like my answer. life, on the emotional front lines, feels like home. and my hope is that in sharing what i am going through and growing through, it will inspire if not comfort you in wherever you are right now. 

for as long as i can remember, i have wanted to be a mother. my vision was to have human children, and that very well might manifest, but for now, i mother max, my maltese. i just celebrated another tour around the sun. because my desire to become a mother has been rather loud in my head the last few years, i decided to have a series of tests that would tell me essentially how much time i have. my doctor warned me that the tests were really designed for women who were gauging whether they were right for in vitro fertilization treatment, but yes, it more or less could say the state of my ovarian reserves. while the information we receive on a daily basis may not always appear favorable, i find that it is empowering (once we get over the initial emotional response) and can help us make informed decisions about how we would like to experience our life.

i was surprised at my results. according to the tests, my reserves are low for my age. my doctor feels i should think very seriously about freezing my eggs. this was one of those moments in life that are super real, super quick. i left her office feeling like an adult, like i had to really think about my desires critically. i left not necessarily feeling defeated, but not empowered either. i don’t have a name for how i feel, actually. all my brain was thinking was, “content, content, content, --- freeze your eggs.” this, too, has changed how i choose. what i choose.

 i want you to know that no matter what it is you are going through and growing through, you are not alone. there is an entire universe there to support you. and what you choose to create and manifest in your own life is your divine right. not that you needed to hear it from me, but in case you forgot, this is a gentle reminder. i am taking all that comes at me in stride. i am learning to respond rather than react.

maxie and i are great. we are getting on beautifully, learning from each other daily, and loving one another deeply.

i leave you with brene brown … “vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.”

more soon!

big love,

Nya.

UPCOMING WORKSHOP

a friend whom i admire, adore, and respect very much has put together a wellness retreat and workshop for women. she so gracefully curates an experience that will not only inspire, but that will nourish you. i will be guiding a practice as well as a journaling exercise. it is still early on in the year where we each are charting and envisioning our dreams, check it out and join us if you can.

ON RETREAT

ethiopia awaits you in the fall from october 25 to november 3rd. get excited because i have just confirmed our stay at this new resort in gonder! send me a note to make your $500 deposit to reserve your spot. i also feel this is something that one should share with a best friend, daughter, sister, mother… it really is that life-changing.