i have been exploring the blueprint of my trauma consciously for the past eighteen months. maybe it has been longer, but i feel like i only began to actually see myself quite recently. more specifically, i have been enamored with the ability of trauma to stay alive in the body long after the traumatic event has come to pass. it is the reason why practicing and teaching movement has become so important to me as a vehicle for healing.
i experience the resurgence of trauma through gut feelings, through temporary paralysis in circumstances i feel i cannot control, and sometimes, through my dreams. what i have come to learn is that in moments like these, when present experiences mirror the past, my brain and body are unable to discern what is really happening in the moment.
part of seeing oneself fully is being brave enough to hold compassionate space for the person we find. the one who is afraid. the one who does not feel safe. the one we judge. the one we know needs us more than anyone else. it is through studying our individual blueprint that we begin to actually see. it's our map for understanding our behaviors, reactions, and triggers.
if you considered the scope of your trauma, moment to moment, would you change how you show up in the world?
when i began to cultivate a yoga practice twelve years ago, i had not realized that it would serve as my medium for healing. i was not aware that i needed to heal. through my practice i have been able to slowly regain ownership of myself and change the harmony of my inner world. even still, i am just beginning to feel the warmth of my own heart.
practice with me tuesday april 11, 18, and 25 at georgetown yoga. wednesday, april 12 at 7:45pm, i am filling in for Tali Herskowitz and leading one of my favorite practices; restorative yoga. come release and fill up on a midweek self-care session! satsang this month is on april 30, focusing on forward folds: surrendering to what is, 10:30-12pm. sign up for your spot here!